Origin Story
12/19/14 - We answer listener questions about group travel, how this podcast came to be, and which TED Talks are worth it. (Hint: POWER POSE).
Transcript below.
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CREDITS
Producer: Gina Delvac
Hosts: Aminatou Sow & Ann Friedman
Theme song: Call Your Girlfriend by Robyn
Tom Aspaul - Good Together
Hannah Rad edit of Robyn - Call Your Girlfriend
TRANSCRIPT: Origin Story
Aminatou: Welcome to Call Your Girlfriend.
Ann: A podcast for long-distance besties everywhere.
Aminatou: I'm Aminatou Sow.
Ann: And I'm Ann Friedman.
Aminatou: On the agenda we answer listener questions including how to handle group travel, our origin story, and the TED talks you might actually want to watch while stoned and writing your New Year's Resolutions.
[Theme Song]
Ann: Let's see. "We are a group of six semi-long distance besties scattered across the east coast in Philadelphia, Maryland, New York, and Boston. We recently discovered your podcast, etc., etc." Basically they want to take a big trip together. It says "You both seem like well-traveled individuals with respectable taste." Unclear.
Aminatou: [Laughs]
Ann: "So we are hoping you can shed some light on interesting experiences you've had or other suggestions for what we should or shouldn't do on a trip together. Additionally we'd love to hear stories from any memorable trips you took in your 20s with your girlfriends for some jet setting inspiration."
Aminatou: I feel hopeful about this. Ann, I mean we've got this. We take really good trips.
Ann: We do but they're not very . . . they're mostly working trips.
Aminatou: I think it's 50/50. I think so.
Ann: All right.
Aminatou: I don't know. I will speak for myself. I think I go on fabulous vacations with my friends.
Ann: I mean first of all I think that we have a commitment to luxury.
Aminatou: This is true.
Ann: I feel that traveling with you has really upped my expectations of what I need in a vacation hotel, namely robes.
(1:55)
Aminatou: Yes, robes. I remember one time you wouldn't let me have the water at a hotel because you were like it's not free. And I was like "No, no, it's complimentary. It's fine."
Ann: [Laughs]
Aminatou: You know, like do your homework. You know, six people traveling is you're probably not going to stay in a hotel unless you guys are ballers. So, you know, I recommend like Airbnb as your friend here because you probably want to all stay under the same roof. And I don't know, so these ladies are all on the east coast?
Ann: Mm-hmm.
Aminatou: For me I guess the most important thing when I'm traveling with people is knowing we're all on the same wavelength of chill. Like there's nothing more shocking than realizing that some of your friends are more neurotic about travel than you are.
Ann: Or that they're agenda people.
Aminatou: And down for missing flights. You know, it's fine. I'm down for getting to the airport like 30 minutes before. Nothing is on fire.
Ann: Right. Or friends where you think you're taking a relaxing vacation and you show up and they're like "Okay, so we're doing this from 10 to 6 and then we have dinner plans here." And that is very tough for me. I'm kind of like a one activity activity per day person when I travel.
Aminatou: Yes. I think that's actually really key when you travel with a group is to have one activity that bonds you for the rest of the day but give people the freedom to do what they want with the rest of their time.
Ann: Right. Like at any given point in time with six people someone's always going to want to sleep.
Aminatou: [Laughs]
Ann: Like someone's going to want to go home if you're out. They're going to want to go home right after dinner. One person is going to want to nap in the middle of the afternoon. I just feel being very understanding of everyone's sleep schedule and not shaming for not hanging out 24/7 is very key.
Aminatou: No, totally. Key. So destinations I would recommend. I'm really into upstate New York. It's totally affordable and fun and great for bonding activities. You know how we love Palm Springs in this family.
(4:02)
Ann: Ugh, forever and ever.
Aminatou: Forever and ever and ever, because there's literally nothing to do. Don't go to Palm Springs and think you're going to go hang out at a bar every night. That's -- no.
Ann: It's also the place where I've received the only welcome cat call of my life which was from two gay men in a convertible who screamed "You look like Jane Russell!"
Aminatou: [Laughs] Yeah, no, so we love Palm Springs. I love Miami. The people watching is insane. Weirdly I actually really like Nashville. I think Nashville is a fun place for a group of people to explore.
Ann: I have a strong preference for mid-sized American cities, like on the sort of below five cities that people who aren't American would want to vacation in. Smaller than that.
Aminatou: Name names. Name names.
Ann: Milwaukee, Kansas City.
Aminatou: Ooh, I love Kansas City.
Ann: I went to Louisville a few weeks ago and had a phenomenal time. There's something to be said when you're with a group of people and you mostly want to catch up, and I think this is another reason why places like Palm Springs are good. It's like there's really not that much stuff to see. There's like a couple of things but mostly you're there to just hang out in a new place and I think mid-sized cities are really good for that.
Aminatou: Yeah.
Ann: And also tend to be a little cheaper so if you want to feel like ballers and get a very nice hotel. We once stayed in a very nice hotel in Oklahoma City. Remember that?
Aminatou: Oh my god, five stars. That place was crazy.
Ann: All of the stars, yeah.
Aminatou: I know. We also stayed at a very nice hotel in Las Vegas.
Ann: Ugh.
Aminatou: I mean thank you Priceline Negotiator. [Laughs]
Ann: I mean that was -- Thanksgiving, ugh. That was a really good Thanksgiving.
Aminatou: I don't know, Ann. [Laughs] I feel like we're remembering that Thanksgiving differently.
(5:50)
Ann: Oh that's true, I was hungover the whole day. I forgot. [Laughs]
Aminatou: Yes, there were many problems. We ate potato salad in the parking lot of an Albertson's in Rancho Cucamonga on Thanksgiving day. I'm going to rate that as the worst Thanksgiving of my life.
Ann: My hangover was so bad I'm grateful to not be dead. We woke up and watched Charlie's Angels full-throttle and then by the time that was over it was dark. That's how late I slept that day. [Laughs]
Aminatou: Yes, that Thanksgiving was very memorable. Oh, but for these ladies if you want to be a little adventurous and go outside the US and have like a blast I highly recommend Montreal.
Ann: So many good suggestions. We just basically recommended everywhere.
Aminatou: I mean not really. We recommended affordable, cool places.
Ann: That's cool.
Aminatou: Here's one that I would like you to answer. [Laughs] "How did you start the podcast? Maybe too soon to hit your origin story but I'm interested in learning your process for coming up with show ideas, the podcast to begin with, how did you get sponsors or at least get on iTunes, etc.?"
Ann: Oh my god.
Aminatou: Ann, how did the podcast start?
Ann: I mean I think you and I were like ladies need to be doing podcasts and then we realized we were ladies and should do a podcast. Is that how it came about? [Laughs]
Aminatou: I think . . . I think I remember it a little differently.
Ann: Tell me.
Aminatou: That one Gina Delvac, producer of the show, was like "You ladies should do a podcast."
Ann: Oh yeah, shit.
Aminatou: And we were like what's a podcast? [Laughs]
Ann: I think we had said "Oh yeah, more ladies should do podcasts." And she was like "Cough, cough." Right?
Aminatou: Yes. I think that Gina approached us about this at Desert Ladies but as you know many things happen at Desert Ladies that cloud one's memory and judgment.
Ann: [Laughs]
Aminatou: So I think, yeah, so I think we had had this idea for a long time and we didn't actually . . . we didn't take it seriously for a while because, you know, audio is hard. Then Gina was like "You have to buy these microphones," and we were like what? Like that sounds crazy.
(7:50)
Ann: That's not true, we were excited about the gear.
Aminatou: [Laughs] Speak for yourself. Yeah, I think it took a couple months. And then I specifically remember driving around Hollywood when we were like hey, are we serious about doing this?
Ann: Okay, I do remember this.
Aminatou: Trying to come up with name ideas. And I was very excited when I said Call Your Girlfriend should be the name of the podcast and immediately checked to see that the URL was available, and duh, it was, because people are idiots who sleep on everything.
Ann: Yeah, I was actually driving and you were buying the URL on your phone. I remember.
Aminatou: Yes. We were going to a party at the Ace maybe?
Ann: I don't know, some sort of shameful like LA stereotypical situation.
Aminatou: I am never ashamed of the time I spend at Ace Hotel establishments.
Ann: I don't think it was though because the Ace wasn't open when we started this.
Aminatou: You're right, it wasn't. It's that one hotel where there's always some ladies in pajamas in a glass box.
Ann: The Standard.
Aminatou: And we're like -- all right, The Standard. Thank you.
Ann: The Standard in West Hollywood. We were on our way to The Standard.
Aminatou: Yeah, there's always some bored lady behind a glass like in a Shamese (?) and they're like "Look at this great art." And I'm like "Uh, no."
Ann: Yes, you are so right. You are so right. And then we did lots of high-fiving while purchasing or locking down the Gmail and Twitter handles and then we realized we had to do something with them.
Aminatou: I know. So things that are surprising about podcasting, like one, it's hard. It's like actually hard [Laughs] just from setting up your gear and getting your life together. But also coming up with topics every week is . . . it's not like the easiest thing.
Ann: I know, I think about that every time people are like "You should do one every single week." I'm like we can barely get it together to do this every other week.
(9:48)
Aminatou: I know. I think we're just outing ourselves as not professional podcasters. Some people do this wonderfully. We just . . . it's hard. I think it's also hard because we're not in the same location so it involves just like a little bit of logistical nightmare stuff and you know how this family hates logistics.
Ann: Well we also both travel all the time and if one of us is traveling you don't want to lug the whole gear situation with you out of town and that's like a whole other thing.
Aminatou: I know. Ugh, god, there's so many problems. Somebody should make like a podcast-to-go kit.
Ann: I mean seriously.
Aminatou: That's how you would be rich.
Ann: But the real answer to how we started this/make it happen is our awesome producer Gina. That's the short answer.
Aminatou: All glory and praise to Gina. I don't know how this gets . . . I don't know how people get this on their phones every week.
Ann: Yeah, and if you want to start a podcast but do not have an awesome editor/producer/person to get you in gear when you actually decide you're going to do it then good luck and godspeed because we would not -- I can tell you for certain we would not do this without her to edit it and push us.
[Music]
Ann: Okay, next question. "Are there any TED talks that anyone would ever want to watch for any reason?" [Laughs]
Aminatou: Oh my god, first of all I don't know why you're laughing because yes. [Laughs] There are . . . TED talks are much maligned and I won't go into the depth of TED talkness that I know but I will say this: there is one TED talk that I consistently recommend to people and it's by Amy Cuddy and it's about how power posing can change your life and your career and it's all about body language. I probably watch it like once a month and I definitely power pose every day at work. [Laughs] And it's all about how, you know, power pose, it affects how others perceive you. It changes your body chemistry. It affects the way you do your job and you interact with people.
(12:22)
[Clip Starts]
Amy: I want to say to you don't fake it until you make it; fake it until you become it. You know, it's not . . . do it enough until you actually become it and internalize. The last thing I want to leave you with is this: tiny tweaks can lead to big changes. So this is two minutes. Two minutes, two minutes, two minutes. Before you go into the next stressful evaluative situation for two minutes try doing this in the elevator, in a bathroom stall, at your desk behind closed doors. That's what you want to do, configure your brain to cope the best in that situation. Get your testosterone up. Get your cortisol down. Don't leave that situation feeling like "Oh, I didn't show them who I am."
[Clip Ends]
Aminatou: I don't know, it's very emotional. At one point in the TED talk she chokes up. It's great. It's only 21 minutes. Definitely watch it. I credit like 45% of my success to power posing.
Ann: I mean that is the perfect answer. [Laughs]
Aminatou: It's like basically . . . yeah, it's like her advice for how can you be confident and reduce stress in your life? And I'm like wouldn't you watch a TED talk on that?
Ann: But I feel like all TED talks are always promising to deliver things like that then never actually delivering. So the fact that you endorse that it delivers . . .
Aminatou: Oh, this one delivers.
Ann: It means I will watch it.
Aminatou: Okay, I love that.
Ann: Well . . .
Aminatou: Yeah, that's all I've got.
Ann: I mean that seems like a decent place to close out the year. Email your questions to callyrgf@gmail.com. Tweet us at @callyrgf. And you can subscribe to the show if you don't already on iTunes and catch up on episodes you might've missed at callyourgirlfriend.com.
Aminatou: Are you interested in sponsoring Call Your Girlfriend? Great. Email us at callyrgf@gmail.com and we look forward to hearing from you.
Ann: We will be back in the new year.
Together: See you on the Internet.
Ann: Oh my god, that was at the same time. I can't.