Phone-a-friend: Brooklyn Nine-Nine’s Stephanie Beatriz
12/4/15 - For this week’s phone-a-friend edition of Call Your Girlfriend, Amina calls top Hollywood bae, Stephanie Beatriz who plays the no-nonsense, leather-jacket wearing Rosa Diaz on Brooklyn Nine-Nine to discuss shine theory, how she got into acting, her favorite TV shows and so much more.
Transcript below.
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CREDITS
Producer: Gina Delvac
Hosts: Aminatou Sow & Ann Friedman
Theme song: Call Your Girlfriend by Robyn
TRANSCRIPT: PHONE-A-FRIEND: BROOKLYN NINE-NINE’S STEPHANIE BEATRIZ
Ann: Welcome to Call Your Girlfriend.
Aminatou: A podcast for long-distance besties everywhere.
Ann: I'm Ann Friedman.
Aminatou: And I'm Aminatou Sow.
Ann: And every other week we'll be bringing you a special phone-a-friend episode between either Aminatou or me and one of our rad pals.
Aminatou: Hey Ann.
Ann: Hey, what's up? Who'd you talk to this week?
Aminatou: This week I talked to one of my favorite actresses Stephanie Beatriz who plays the no-nonsense Rosa Diaz on Brooklyn Nine-Nine. She is . . .
Ann: Oh my god, hilarious.
Aminatou: I never thought that a cop would come on TV that would capture my heart more than Olivia Benson and I'm really happy to report that Detective Rosa Diaz is everything. Yeah, you know, she's really great, believes in shine theory, is really, really, really funny which we obviously know from watching every week but I can report that IRL she is even more amazing.
Ann: You don't always expect people who are funny for a living to be funny when you talk to them in civilian mode but she was.
Aminatou: Oh yeah, she's so hilarious. If you don't follow her on social media you totally should because her Instagram is hilarious and she's such a babe. She also dances in this really, really, really babealicious dance group and so she told me more about that but I'll let you listen for yourself.
[Theme Song]
[Interview Begins]
Aminatou: Hi Stephanie! Thanks so much for joining me today!
Stephanie: Please, this is my pleasure. I've been obsessed with y'alls podcast ever since Melissa Fumero told me about it.
Aminatou: Uh, are you kidding me?
Stephanie: No, w were talking about podcasts and I was like "I don't know. I don't know where to start. There's so many." She's like "Oh my god, you have to listen to Call Your Girlfriend. It's like you're sitting in the room with your friends. It's amazing. Listen to it. Listen to it." I downloaded a million of them and listened to them all like in one weekend.
(2:05)
Aminatou: You're completely making my day.
Stephanie: [Laughs]
Aminatou: Because I was deep googling you a little bit and when I found out you grew up in Texas I died. More specifically the Houston Sugar Land Baytown situation.
Stephanie: Oh yes. Oh yes.
Aminatou: I went to college at UT Austin so I have a certain fondness for Texas even though it makes us ashamed all the time.
Stephanie: It is like that one boyfriend that you dated that you're really, really embarrassed but also he was so nice to you and he's the one that told you that you were beautiful for the first time or whatever, you know?
Aminatou: Yeah. That boy for me, he was from Baytown, you know? So it's real. [Laughs]
Stephanie: Yeah. No, mine is from Houston. It's so real. It's so real.
Aminatou: Yeah, he got married very young, like right after we dated basically, and I was like this is great. You're basically trash garbage and I'm better than you but thank you for making me feel better about myself.
Stephanie: [Laughs] Mine also got married very quickly. Not like right after we broke up, but very quickly, and has two adorable children and is a firefighter so he's not trash garbage. But yeah, there's some life choices there I wouldn't have made. But you know, more power to him.
Aminatou: Yeah, I know, that's -- more power. Yeah. Shout out to all the married people.
Stephanie: [Laughs] We don't hate you. We don't hate you. We're just, you know, living a different life.
Aminatou: [Laughs] That's the way to put it. Can you tell us about this fun dance group that it looks like you're a part of?
Stephanie: Oh my god, yes. Okay. So I'm a member of the LA City Municipal Dance Squad.
Aminatou: What?
Stephanie: Yes. A couple years back there were a bunch of women comedians and writers and stuff who all got to know each other through UCB and a bunch of them found out that they used to play basketball like in high school or college. So they wanted to join the women's parks and rec league here in LA. And they called the parks and rec department of the city and the city's like "We don't have one. We have men's teams. We have a million-and-a-half men's teams but we have no women's teams."
Aminatou: Ugh.
(3:55)
Stephanie: Yes, right? Of course. So they decide to start the women's pickup league and within the first year they have something like, I don't know, 20 teams or something? The city is pretty sure they're not going to get it together and get all these teams organized. Surprise, they do. On the UCB team which is called the Pistol Shrimps . . .
Aminatou: That's amazing.
Stephanie: Yeah, right? One of the members, Angela Trimbur who's an actress and a really funny amazing person generally, she used to dance a lot when she was a kid. And the buzzer would go off at the first half and there'd be like five minutes of nothing and then they would play the second half of the game. And she's like why isn't there something fun happening? She's such an entertainer that she decided to gather a group of her friends and start a dance team. So Laker girls, but very tongue-and-cheek. We're not professional dancers by any means. Half of our dances are us acting out ridiculous songs.
Aminatou: I know, but y'all look so hot and you're having so much fun.
Stephanie: It's so fun. It's so, so fun. And so this year I think in March they actually had auditions and I went to the audition because I've been stalking them on Instagram. I met her at a party accidentally. She was at a party at Joe Lo Truglio's house and we started talking and I figured out she was the person that started the squad and I was having a moment trying to be cool with her while I was like "Oh my god, this is her!" And then I auditioned and I got in and it has been such an amazing addition to my life. I feel like I have this new group of friends. You know, some of them I don't even know that well yet because we just added four new members but I just really love these women. They're all so cool. They're super supportive. And any kind of stuff that comes up -- because stuff's going to inevitably come up when you have a large group of women, like there's going to be some shit, you know?
Aminatou: Yeah.
(5:45)
Stephanie: We've all been socialized to be catty since we're like four years old so there's going to be some shit. But whenever there's shit it just gets aired so quickly and we all try to work together as a team. It's really fun. I highly recommend starting a dance group.
Aminatou: That's so awesome. Next time I'm in LA I'm definitely going to check this out.
Stephanie: Oh please, dude. Every Tuesday night while the season's going we dance at Pan Pacific Park which is . . .
Aminatou: Done.
Stephanie: Yeah, seven, eight, and nine. It's really fun.
Aminatou: Done and done. Done and done and done. You know, I really like that you said that about airing things out and solving them a lot because I think that one thing that is really telling about you, like your whole vibe, is that you're very supportive of other women.
Stephanie: Totally.
Aminatou: I notice that a lot, you know, throughout all of your social media.
Stephanie: Oh, thanks.
Aminatou: And even talking to you, you're always really promoting other women's projects and doing that. And to us on Call Your Girlfriend that's wildly important.
Stephanie: Yeah.
Aminatou: And it's been such a source of personal growth and just delight.
Stephanie: Right.
Aminatou: But it's so cool to just know that other people do that across all types of industries and everywhere.
Stephanie: I mean I actually . . . one of the things you guys said a while back, like shine theory.
Aminatou: Yes.
Stephanie: I talk about that all the time. I spread that message constantly. And when you talk about it with other women their eyes start to light up. No one has said it that way. No one has said actually when you're successful I'm successful too. We're all coming at this together. I mean it should be more normal. I want it to be more normal. It's more normal in my life. And I'm not perfect. There's definitely times where I'm like "Ugh!"
Aminatou: [Laughs]
Stephanie: I feel jealousy or craziness about this person got that role. This person's doing so well. But then you stop and think, that's the difference between being a small child and an adult.
Aminatou: Exactly, right? And I think that's kind of the big lie that, you know, the universe is trying to tell us is that when somebody does something well it means that that takes away from you, you know?
Stephanie: Dude, yeah.
Aminatou: And it's so ridiculous, whereas for me I've found it's such a source of motivation where it's like oh, you know what? Actually I want to do the same thing or I want to do something similar.
Stephanie: Yes.
(7:50)
Aminatou: And how do I propel myself there?
Stephanie: Yes.
Aminatou: I can't even imagine what it's like in Hollywood.
Stephanie: Yeah, it can be weird for sure. It can be very . . . you'll just have these moments of like . . . the ones that are sort of the most painful to me come from the most sort of normal moments where you're like at a party or something and you're having a nice time over the cheese plate and then somebody says something to you and you're like oh, that was meant to cut me down.
Aminatou: Yeah. That's supposed to be a dig.
Stephanie: Yeah, make me feel small. Like in Bridget Jones where she talks about jelly fishing, have you heard that?
Aminatou: Yes, yes.
Stephanie: Yeah, I talk about that all the time. I'm like "That bitch just jelly fished me!" Like you just have to sort of be aware but also know -- like come at it and go . . . because I used to take things so personally and now I'm like that's not about me. That's about that woman's issues with herself.
Aminatou: Exactly. That's kind of the best way to put it.
Stephanie: Yeah.
Aminatou: You know, speaking of Hollywood, I know that you made the jump from New York. How is it? What are your big impressions like east coast to west coast? Did you have to learn how to drive and all of that stuff?
Stephanie: Oh girl, yes. I had to learn to drive. I learned in the four months before I moved. It was a mad dash to the finish line. It was really scary.
Aminatou: [Laughs]
Stephanie: Actually one of the people -- I was working at the Oregon Shakespeare Festival at the time which is a Shakespeare festival in Ashland, Oregon which is amazingly bomb if you're ever in Ashland or Southern Oregon. You should go.
Aminatou: Cool.
Stephanie: One of the women I was working there with named Catherine Coulson who actually used to be the log lady -- she passed away recently . . .
Aminatou: Aww.
Stephanie: She was a friend of mine and she helped teach me how to drive.
Aminatou: That's the best, man. Learning how to drive from a bad-ass lady.
Stephanie: Yeah, it was pretty dope. She was always giving me these little tips and talking about the test and sure enough some of the stuff that she said happened during the test. She's like "They're going to want you to take a left-hand turn and it's going to feel impossible. Just wait it out." I was like really? She's like "Just wait it out."
Aminatou: Yeah, no, I'm such an east coast baby too even though I moved to San Francisco. I still don't drive. It's on my to-do list for next year. It's like my one thing I have to do.
Stephanie: There's a thing. All those anxiety dreams about not being able to get people to the hospital because you can't drive, they will all go away.
(10:02)
Aminatou: [Laughs] You know, yeah, I'm the person who's always testing the limit of how far you can take an Uber.
Stephanie: [Laughs]
Aminatou: And I'm happy to report that from San Francisco you can go very far into wine country.
Stephanie: [Laughs]
Aminatou: So let me tell you. And from LA, same thing. I'm always like "Hey, how do you feel about Topanga Canyon today?" I want to talk a little bit about the character you play on Brooklyn Nine-Nine. The first time I watched Brooklyn Nine-Nine I was on a plane. I think I was flying from LA back to New York and I was aware of the show but I was saving it to watch for a long time. And by the time the plane landed I was so anxious about getting home so I could finish the rest of the season.
Stephanie: Yes!
Aminatou: I was like I'm sorry, I can't believe I waited this long. I have such a fondness for TV police women and I never thought that I would find a policewoman that was more dear to my heart than Olivia Benson. But Inspector Rosa, here we are.
Stephanie: That makes me so happy. Wow.
Aminatou: Yeah, you know, you're the best. I love that she's so confident. She's always stunting on everyone.
Stephanie: Yes.
Aminatou: But there's this vulnerability to her also.
[Clip Starts]
Male: The DA is worried about how you present yourself on the stand.
Rosa: Why? I'm fine on the stand. Look, I'll make this real simple so even these dumb-dumbs can understand. Man did crime. I'm sorry, can you make her stop doing that weird thing with her face?
Male: Crying?
Rosa: And when this is over I'm going to find you and I'm going to break those little fingers.
Female: Ms. Diaz, please stop threatening the stenographer.
Male: This is an important case. You need to do well.
Rosa: Fine, I'll take your dumb-ass seminar.
Male: That's the spirit!
[Clip Ends]
Stephanie: I just love her. I think she's unlike anybody that I've ever played before but she's not unlike anybody I've ever met. My mother in particular is a freaking bad-ass, like she's really tough, but she is also very . . . you know, there's always vulnerability. Even the strongest, strongest characters in the literary canon that you can think of. I mean because they're human. They're human. They're human. She's so fun to play. She's so fun to play.
(12:10)
Aminatou: Yeah. You know, I heard in the casting she was written as a different character then when they met you they changed that. Can you talk about that?
Stephanie: Yeah. Well actually the character was pretty much the same. The name of it was Megan though. It was Megan spelled in a very Irish way.
Aminatou: Ooh.
Stephanie: So I think that they might've had like -- I don't know, I've never talked to Mike and Dan about it, but I think they maybe had a fiery, redheaded Irish New Yorker in their minds but that's not what happened clearly. I think they just . . . you know, one of the things they've said, and they've said over and over in interviews but they've said personally to me, is just "We thought you were the right -- you came in and you won it. You were here and we couldn't see it any other way after you did it. And so we needed to figure out how to make it more you, and for us what we thought was funny was to give her a sort of soft . . . a very soft name like Rosa, like a flower."
Aminatou: Yeah, that's awesome. That's such a good power of diversity story because I think that usually we hear so much more of the negative, like the ugh, we had to . . . I work in tech and people will always tell you "We don't want the standards to go down." That's always their excuse.
Stephanie: Ugh, gross.
Aminatou: And I'm like are you kidding me? I know how to build a computer. How ridiculous.
Stephanie: So gross.
Aminatou: Yeah, it's so gross, so I love that story. My favorite Rosa revelation was that she was a ballerina.
Stephanie: Oh yeah.
Aminatou: In a recent episode. I died when that came out.
Stephanie: Yeah.
Aminatou: I was like that's just -- I was like it will never cease to amaze me how resilient but just a softy she is inside.
Stephanie: [Laughs] That was very fun to do. That was very . . . and also hyper stressful for me because I was not a ballerina when I was a kid. I ended up taking four private lessons from this really lovely woman who I met through this dance company and then I ended up taking ballet because I was super into it. It opened up a whole new "Oh, I have this new hobby. Now I want to be a ballerina."
(14:05)
Aminatou: That's so cool. When did you know that you wanted to be an actress? Like it's so always fascinating to me when I see people on TV because I'm like oh, this is a career path that a lot of people choose.
Stephanie: Yeah.
Aminatou: For somebody who . . . I consume a sick amount of television. It's crazy. In fact last night I was watching my favorite secret show The Closer on TNT and you were on it and I died. I died.
Stephanie: Oh my god! Is that the gang rape situation?
Aminatou: You know it. Thank you. Thank you TNT's The Closer.
Stephanie: Yeah.
Aminatou: It's like the show that I watch that I never talk to anybody about.
Stephanie: I love that show.
Aminatou: I'm like I can't discuss this but I am lost in the sauce of that show. But yeah, when did you know that you wanted to be an actress and what kind of propelled you into that world?
Stephanie: It's sort of a long story but when I was in junior high there were not very many electives and I ended up in speech and debate. And in the speech and debate class there were two plays that they would do. They would do a Christmas play, because Texas, Christmas play, then in the spring season they would do a melodrama. And I was in this class with a bunch of other kids in my grade and I wanted the Onjinu (?) role in this crappy little melodrama. I did not get it. The popular girl got it.
Aminatou: Ugh.
Stephanie: Instead -- yes, of course. I got the male villain.
Aminatou: That is ridiculous.
Stephanie: Yeah, I'm 12, I've got short hair, I've got crooked teeth, and they cast me as a man. And I have to wear a top hat and a handlebar mustache, the whole bit. At first I was just horribly mortified and went home and cried. Then during the course of rehearsals I sort of started figuring out that I'm making my friends laugh in class. I'm making the teacher laugh. Something's happening. And then when we got to actually put on the production for school because we did it over the course of one or two days and all the grades came and saw it as an assembly, they loved it. The kids in the school were laughing at stuff that I was doing. And not to send anybody down the river or anything but I was basically the greatest part of that play.
Aminatou: [Laughs]
(16:00)
Stephanie: Like it was this little preteen girl in a top hat and handlebar mustache running around doing the craziest shit. I was rolling over myself, doing all this physical comedy, stuff that I had never explored before because I was pretty shy. And the next day at school -- so that was, in and of itself, that was amazing. And the next day at school I'm sitting in science class, I'll never forget it. Willy Rivera who was very popular, very handsome, comes up to me -- has never talked to me before ever -- and this is the last semester of eighth grade, so what am I, 13 probably?
Aminatou: Yeah.
Stephanie: Comes up to me and says "Hey," and I'm frozen in my desk. He's like "Hey, your brother was really funny in that play."
Aminatou: Oh my god, Willy Rivera. No.
Stephanie: Willy Rivera. I said nothing, right? I was like thanks because what do you say? So two things are happening at once. I'm thinking oh my god, Willy Rivera just talked to me. My hands are sweating. Also oh my god, Willy Rivera actually thought that was a boy.
Aminatou: Ugh, Willy Rivera, what a fool. But, you know, you were very convincing.
Stephanie: I was. I was. And that's really what I took away from it which was like oh, I was good enough to make somebody that sat with me an entire year in class not recognize me.
Aminatou: Oh my god, eighth grade boys are so dumb.
Stephanie: They are the worst.
Aminatou: That's perfect. How was high school for you? Were you popular?
Stephanie: No. I mean I did dance team for a while and it was maybe you might be popular, like if you start drinking and having sex earlier than you really want to. And I was like uh, I don't know, and so I backed off of that and started doing theatre. And in the theatre department I really found my people. And I guess I would say I was pretty popular in that department. And by the time I hit senior year it stopped mattering. Everybody just started mixing with each other. I think I was voted most popular -- or sorry, no, most talented.
Aminatou: Ooh.
Stephanie: Not most popular. Most talented. I had good friends. My best friend at the time was my high school boyfriend. And I didn't have a horrible time of it. I felt . . . retrospectively it's like oh my god, you were like a beautiful little flower.
Aminatou: [Laughs]
(18:10)
Stephanie: But I didn't feel that way at the time. I was very self-hatey and stuff and didn't know where I belonged and felt the most comfortable when I was onstage. Completely comfortable when I was onstage.
Aminatou: Oh man, that's insane. Who's your best friend now?
Stephanie: Courtney Kocak. She is this really amazing writer who I just love. She's so funny and dear to my heart.
Aminatou: How did you guys meet?
Stephanie: She actually went to Stevens College where I went but she went a little bit after me. And when I moved to LA I didn't know really anyone. I didn't have a social circle. Because when I moved to New York I knew people. I had built-in like . . .
Aminatou: Like a built-in network.
Stephanie: Yeah. And when I moved here I didn't really know anyone and so I started sort of Facebook messaging people and we have a mutual friend who introduced us and we just started hanging out a lot and we just get along. I mean she's the one -- you know, your best friend's usually the one you can say the shittiest stuff to and they'll never judge you; they'll just laugh.
Aminatou: Yeah, that's your person.
Stephanie: Yeah, that's Courtney for sure. And I have a lot of close, good friends here but for sure I would count Courtney as the best.
Aminatou: That's so cool. I'm always fascinated by bestie meeting stories and I think that the when you're new somewhere and you get to know someone, that's always kind of the best.
Stephanie: Yes. Also, side note, I think I make the best friends with women who initially when I meet them I don't like them.
Aminatou: Ooh, interesting.
Stephanie: Yeah, because to me that signals -- and I've only come on this as an adult where I can examine my own behavior, but when I meet a woman and I feel threatened by her or sort of like "Oh, who is this? Who is this?" Because she's super-smart or she's really funny or she's doing something or saying something that I wish I could do or say, there's something that's built into me again like from childhood being socialized to compete that sort of automatically goes off and I'm like I'm not sure I like that girl. And now as an adult I can sort of look at that behavior and go like no, no, that girl's fucking awesome and you want to be more like her which is why you're not sure you like her because you're afraid of how amazing she is and how come you're not as -- you're not pushing yourself to be as amazing?
(20:15)
Aminatou: Holy shit, that's like an insane amount of personal growth.
Stephanie: [Laughs] Yes.
Aminatou: No, it's true.
Stephanie: It's a lot of therapy. That's a lot of therapy but . . .
Aminatou: No, it's true. You know, when your mind makes that shift from "Ugh, this person is my competition," to like "Actually this person I actually share a lot, or I could learn a lot from them . . ."
Stephanie: Yes.
Aminatou: I don't know. Some of my favorite people in the world are people that I don't actually agree with a lot of stuff on.
Stephanie: Totally.
Aminatou: Or I was initially a little resistant to getting to know them. There's a lot of sweetness there in getting to know them and then you look back a couple years later and you're like man, we were nothing alike when we met and look at the life we've built together.
Stephanie: Yeah. And look at how much I've grown and learned from you and all the experiences we've had together as people and that I wouldn't have had if I had just written you off.
[Ads]
(24:15)
Aminatou: That's so cool. I notice that you also tweet a lot and your followers are very intense people.
Stephanie: Are they?
Aminatou: I know! Like they always get mad when you tweet the show out and they're like "Spoilers!"
Stephanie: Oh yeah.
Aminatou: And I'm like I don't know how to tell you, man, the spoiler . . . the minute the show airs you're done. If you're not watching it please get off the Internet.
Stephanie: Oh my god.
Aminatou: The statute of limitations expires after the Pacific time.
Stephanie: Truly.
Aminatou: But what's your approach to social media in general?
Stephanie: You know, it's funny. I had a long conversation with Terry Crews about this one day because . . .
Aminatou: Ah, Terry Crews, may favorite male feminist.
Stephanie: He is amazing. I love him so much.
Aminatou: He's the best.
Stephanie: He's so great. He's so great. But I was sort of cranky because someone had written something rude on my Instagram or something and I was like "How do I respond to this, Terry? What do I say?" And he was like "Honestly, Stephanie, you don't need to give those people any more energy than they're already taking up from you. Look at all the other comments that are positive. Look at all the people that are reaching out to you and saying 'I love this. I think it's funny,' or like 'Oh, thanks for posting this.' Are you spending as much energy thinking about those people as you are the negative comments? And I was like [screech]. It was like a record scratch moment.
Aminatou: Oh, Terry Crews!
Stephanie: He's right. You know, you see something positive and you go "Oh, that's nice," and you move along. It's just like in real life when somebody says something shitty to you and it sticks in your brain forever and ever versus that other person that said "God, you look so beautiful today," and you sort of go "Oh, thanks," and you wipe it out of your brain immediately. I mean I think that's one thing that I've learned a lot. And the other thing is just being sort of honest and polite but laying it down pretty quickly which is like hey, if you don't want any spoilers, you can totally unfollow. That's okay with me.
(26:00)
Aminatou: People are such complainers. It's like why are you even here?
Stephanie: Right? Like maybe don't read my Twitter until you've actually watched the show.
Aminatou: Exactly. Stop being rude. So crazy. What other TV are you watching right now that you like?
Stephanie: Well, I won't say it's a guilty pleasure because I'm not guilty about it.
Aminatou: I don't believe in guilty pleasures. I think everything is good for you.
Stephanie: Everything is good for you, right? Andy says the same thing. He says "No, there's no guilty pleasures. It's just what you find fun." I love Don't Be Tardy. I love that.
Aminatou: Yeah, are you kidding me?
Stephanie: I love it.
Aminatou: Kroy is the best husband in all of reality TV.
Stephanie: Yes!
Aminatou: Kroy is crazy. I can't believe how big Kim's kids have gotten.
Stephanie: They're like little beasts. I mean I don't know what they're feeding them.
Aminatou: It's like look at their father. Of course they're going to be crazy. But also every once in a while I'll pop up on Brielle's Instagram, like I don't follow her because I think it's weird to follow teens, but I'll look at it and I'm like man, I remember when you would sit in NeNe Leakes' lap in Atlanta Housewives. This is crazy.
Stephanie: So crazy.
Aminatou: Okay, Don't Be Tardy.
Stephanie: I love Don't Be Tardy. I'm obsessed with Master of None.
Aminatou: Yes.
Stephanie: I sobbed my way through the second episode and watched it twice because I was just like ugh!
Aminatou: Oh my god, yeah, no, immigrant parents. Real talk.
Stephanie: It's very real. And I think he did it with such a sweet . . . truly, my dad cannot -- my dad will not get off of his iPad when he's around me. He's constantly glued to it. And I'm like I get it. I get it. It's awesome.
Aminatou: Yeah, I know, it was done in this very understated but devastating kind of way.
Stephanie: So good. Let's see what else. I'm trying to think. Oh, I'm obsessed with Bob's Burgers.
Aminatou: Who's your favorite character?
Stephanie: That's a very difficult question. I mean at any given time any of them. I do love Tina so much.
Aminatou: Yes! That's who I was hoping you would say. [Laughs]
(27:52)
Stephanie: I mean I'm pretty sure almost every woman on this planet feels like Tina was her in high school unless you were gifted and born really beautiful and you just never had an awkward stage. Like way power to you. Go ahead, fly. But most of us had an era where we were like "Uh . . ." in our body.
Aminatou: [Laughs]
Stephanie: You know? So Tina to me is just like ugh, I love her. And I love her obsession with butts.
Aminatou: And horses.
Stephanie: Oh god, it's the sweetest. Zombies. I mean, oh god. Just like her whole . . . her whole aesthetic I should say is very me at like 13 or 14, just trying to figure it out. Also trying to be cool but also trying to be true to herself. Ugh, just so good. So good.
Aminatou: You know, you have some modern lady tastes. I like it.
Stephanie: Me too. I think I do. I'm not caught up right now but I was watching Mindy Project for a while but it's gotten away from me. And then let's see, what else? I mean all the regs, like Game of Thrones. I do love Game of Thrones very much. Do you like that?
Aminatou: I watch Game of Thrones a lot which for me is saying something because I don't fuck with fantasy shit. It's not my jam.
Stephanie: Yes.
Aminatou: I'm just like all of this super nerdy stuff I can't handle. But I've been watching Game of Thrones from the beginning and any time somebody goes "Valar Morghulis," all men must die, I'm like yes, that's my feminist stance on life in general.
Stephanie: [Laughs]
Aminatou: So I think about that all the time. I'm so invested in Arya's story line.
Stephanie: Truly.
Aminatou: And the other thing is I haven't read the books, right? So every once in a while I'll read a Wikipedia thing about it and I'm like this is as far as I'm going to go. I can't read the books. I used to get really upset when people died because I would be really emotionally invested in them and now I actually get excited because I'm like oh, one less person to track.
Stephanie: Right, right. Totally.
Aminatou: The universe is so big and I can't handle it.
Stephanie: So big.
(29:55)
Aminatou: The other thing that I don't understand in Game of Thrones is this. I don't know why they're all fighting over this piece of land that is perpetually stuck in winter and why they don't all go like, I don't know, invade the Summer Islands and live there forever. I feel like it's just a bad game of Risk.
Stephanie: I have always wondered that. I'm trying to think -- like I was trying to think about it. I did read the books until it just got like too much rape. I was dreaming about rape. It was bad.
Aminatou: Oh, it's so bad.
Stephanie: It was really bad. And they've got these little maps in the book, so I was like maybe it's the positioning of it for war maybe? But I also couldn't figure it out. I was like maybe because the Summer Isles could be attacked more easily, like if it was a stronghold? Listen to me getting all super nerdy about this.
Aminatou: No, but this is the rabbit hole that your mind goes down, right?
Stephanie: Yeah.
Aminatou: I'm always like you people look miserable up here in the north by the wall so I don't know.
Stephanie: Why? Yeah.
Aminatou: And I have the biggest crush on Peter Dinklage. I saw him on the street in New York one time and I almost ran into a pole. It was so embarrassing.
Stephanie: Oh my god, that's so adorable.
Aminatou: It was so, so, so embarrassing. I was like you are very high in my spank bank sir and I can't handle it.
Stephanie: He's truly great and he does so much with that role. He brings it to . . . he does. All of them are doing such an incredible job but he particularly is doing something so charming with that role that if he didn't have that charm as an actor that role wouldn't come off so . . . you wouldn't understand it. Because he's described in the books as being this very charming, very like . . . he's able to maneuver his way through all this ridiculous -- these ridiculous scenarios where they cast this actor that you just believe it. You believe it. Whether or not he's like that in real life or not he's living it so fully in the character that you're just -- you're on the ride with him. You're like "Oh yeah, that guy. That guy's like that." Yeah.
Aminatou: Yeah, no.
Stephanie: That's why he's survived, you know?
(31:50)
Aminatou: Yeah. I'm also really into how hot the dancing man from Bravos is that's harassing Arya.
Stephanie: Oh my god.
Aminatou: I'm always like a man could get it for sure.
Stephanie: A man is delicious.
Aminatou: A man is definitely delicious.
Stephanie: He really is.
Aminatou: Yeah, he's actually like a weird German actor who's in all these weird European TV shows that I watch because I grew up in Europe and so that's my other crazy life is how I'm always trying to catch up on European TV shows. And yeah, he plays this computer hacker at some European police TV show and it makes me so happy.
Stephanie: Oh my god, I want to watch this.
Aminatou: Oh, I'll send it to you. You'll laugh so hard. It's amazing.
Stephanie: I totally want to watch this. Oh, speaking of other shows, have you ever watched Moone Boy?
Aminatou: No. Tell me about Moone Boy.
Stephanie: Okay, it's . . . now I'm going to forget the actor's name. The adorable, adorable . . . I think he's Irish. He was the boyfriend in Bridesmaids, the guy -- the cop she falls in love with. Chris . . .
Aminatou: Oh, I know what you're talking about. Yes.
Stephanie: Yes.
Aminatou: I watched I think a couple of episodes of that and then I couldn't . . . I couldn't stick to it. Yeah, what's his name? The really hot cop from Bridesmaids. The Irish guy.
Stephanie: We'll think of it. We'll think of it. Oh, Chris? No, it's not Chris.
Aminatou: Chris O'Dowd. That's his name.
Stephanie: Yes! There it is.
Aminatou: Chris O'Dowd. Yeah.
Stephanie: I love that show. I've watched three seasons on Netflix or Hulu and I've watched all of them twice. I just think it's so funny, charming, weird. The strange sort of feminism that's running through the family too is kind of fantastic. I'd give it another shot, girl.
Aminatou: Okay, I'm going to check it out.
Stephanie: It's charming as fuck.
Aminatou: I'm really into Irish dude accents. I'm obsessed with the Gillian Anderson The Fall.
Stephanie: Yes.
Aminatou: And mostly it's because I'm like I think I want to move to Ireland and marry a hot northern Irish cop. I'm sold.
Stephanie: My boyfriend is redheaded.
Aminatou: Oh my god.
(33:50)
Stephanie: He's currently in a play at the Geffen Theatre in Los Angeles where he has an Irish accent. This is the second time he's had an Irish accent in a play and I swear to you every time I'm sitting in the audience just like ha, ha, ha. That's my boyfriend.
Aminatou: You're living my dream life.
Stephanie: It's pretty great I have to say. And when he practices his lines around the house or when he slips into the Irish accent it is delightful.
Aminatou: Yeah, it's like my one -- it's like my one weird fetish that I will completely own up to. The only thing that completely disarms me is redheaded babies.
Stephanie: Oh my god.
Aminatou: I would get really offended when some of my white friends are like "Oh my god, I really want a black baby. They're so cute. Look at all these African babies." And then I saw a redheaded child and I was like no, I completely understand that disgusting impulse.
Stephanie: Yes.
Aminatou: And now I'm trying to figure out how to make this genetically happen for myself.
Stephanie: You can do it. There's got to be a way.
Aminatou: Yeah, there's got to be a way. Or I'll just buy one eventually when I'm like that's what I want to do. Modern woman style.
Stephanie: Yeah, I was just going to say, do you want to have babies or do you not care how you get them?
Aminatou: I've never thought about having a family long-term, so I was never one of those girls that was like wedding fantasy and marriage fantasy.
Stephanie: Yeah, gotcha.
Aminatou: And I think also just it's mostly in my head. I can't think of a party that I want to invite my friends and my family to at the same time so that's the heart of my struggle. But in terms of kids I just . . . I don't see it. I'm not into babies and I know that for a fact I don't want to poop out my own kids.
Stephanie: Yes, me too.
Aminatou: I know that for a fact. I'm like this is . . . I'm sorry, this body is not changing. This is it.
Stephanie: [Laughs]
Aminatou: And so now I'm like oh, there are so many possibilities.
Stephanie: Yeah.
Aminatou: So I think you should never say never but it's -- yeah, it's like if you're not into having kids or you don't want to plan your life around it I think that that's great. That's where I'm at.
Stephanie: Also a really good reason not to have kids is that, you know what I mean? Like so many people I think are trying to check things off their list and hit these milestones for other people and if you don't really want a kid they're going to know that you don't really want them.
(35:52)
Aminatou: No, exactly. And I think that, yeah, we're at that weird age too, right, where a lot of our friends are having families and settling down and it's all good. I think that if that's the life plan that you have then by all means definitely pursue it because your body starts betraying you.
Stephanie: Yeah.
Aminatou: But if you're not into it I'm like hmm, I'll be fine. And also I'm like once I get there if I really want a kid there are many other ways to have a family.
Stephanie: Yes.
Aminatou: I've been researching what fostering looks like and adoption and all of that stuff and I was like this is something that would make me happy. I know my personality. I know myself.
Stephanie: Yeah.
Aminatou: And I don't think that you need -- you know, you need to have your own child to feel like they're your own.
Stephanie: Yeah, agreed. Speaking of redheaded babies, one of my college friends, Jeremy, he and his husband fostered this adorable little pair of kids, two little redheaded babies, like a little girl and her little brother and they just adopted them last year.
Aminatou: Aww!
Stephanie: And they're the most beautiful family ever.
Aminatou: So good. So good.
Stephanie: They're gorgeous. Little kids are so cute. They're so cute and they're so happy.
Aminatou: Yeah, you know, that's the thing is little kids to me are not very cute so I'm really into the idea of getting a teenager. I'm like you can live in my house for three years, fill out a FASFA and go to college. And then when you come back here we can hang out all the time. [Laughs]
Stephanie: Right.
Aminatou: So everybody's different. I guess what are you doing the rest of the day? You told me you were getting a facial maybe?
Stephanie: Oh my god, yes, I am going to. My skin -- I have struggled with cystic acne since I was like, I don't know, 13 when my mom tried to pop my first zit in the kitchen and it would just turn into a nightmare.
Aminatou: Aw, moms!
Stephanie: I know, because I think she thought it was like her skin which is perfect. She just thought it was a whitehead or something. And I'm like no, no, this is like . . . we're dealing with deep under -- like sometimes has a three-headed situation, like cysts. That's the shit that my skin has come up with forever since I can remember being a viable human. So it's just like a sort of constant like what should I try? How could I get it better? Should I cut this out of my diet? Should I go to this facialist? For the last six or seven months I've been going to this really amazing facialist named Shawnee Dardin who also does Rosie and Jessica Alba.
Aminatou: What?
(38:18)
Stephanie: Yeah, and like Oprah. She had to rearrange my facial the other day because Oprah called her. [Laughs]
Aminatou: I know. When you emailed me I laughed so hard. I was like that's the best.
Stephanie: It's so crazy. What crazy life am I living in which I get bumped from a facial because Oprah is calling my facialist? But she's helped a lot. She has this amazing product. I don't want to shill her products necessarily but she's got this crazy retinal thing that you put on at night and I swear to god my skin is like . . . it's so much better just in the last six months of using this thing.
Aminatou: That's the best.
Stephanie: Yeah.
Aminatou: I just got retinal from -- I just got major retinal from a friend who's pregnant because apparently they can't use it.
Stephanie: They can't use it, yeah.
Aminatou: You can't use it while you're pregnant, so I am swimming in Retinal A right now.
Stephanie: Yes.
Aminatou: And so I'm always looking at all my friends who are becoming pregnant and I'm like "Hey, can you go through your beauty cabinet?"
Stephanie: You're not using that.
Aminatou: And everything you're not using, please send my way.
Stephanie: Everything that will poison the baby, I just want to take it off of your hands.
Aminatou: Yes. I'm like I'll take sushi and I'll take Retinal. Thank you very much.
Stephanie: [Laughs]
Aminatou: Stephanie, thank you so much for talking to me today.
Stephanie: Oh my god, this is such a treat. It was awesome.
Aminatou: You made -- like you made my whole week. This is amazing.
Stephanie: Yay! This is great.
Aminatou: You're the best. Have a great day at the facialist. Please find out what Oprah got and tell me.
Stephanie: Oh yeah, that was my plan. I was going to be like "So did Oprah do any add-ons? Because I would like those as well. I would like the Oprah package."
Aminatou: [Laughs] Have a wonderful day. Thanks.
Stephanie: Thanks. Bye!
Aminatou: Bye!
[Interview Ends]
[Music]
Ann: All right, you can find us many places on the Internet, on our website callyourgirlfriend.com, you can download our show on the Acast app, or on iTunes where it would be awesome if you left us a review. You can also tweet at us at @callyrgf or email us at callyrgf@gmail.com. And you can even leave us a short and sweet voicemail at 714-681-2943. That's 714-681-CYGF. This podcast is produced by Gina Delvac.
Aminatou: Gina!
Ann: Gina!