So Much Booty
11/21/14 - We discuss period cramps, being the creepy journo lady at college parties, Solange’s amazing wedding, white people will not shut up about the booty, Taylor Swift is so good at shine theory, and OMG SQUATTY POTTY.
Transcript below.
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CREDITS
Producer: Gina Delvac
Hosts: Aminatou Sow & Ann Friedman
Theme song: Call Your Girlfriend by Robyn
Speelburg - Kline
Janelle Monae ft. Solange - Electric Lady
2 Live Crew - Too Much Booty in the Pants
Hannah Rad edit of Robyn - Call Your Girlfriend
TRANSCRIPT: SO MUCH BOOTY
Aminatou: Welcome to Call Your Girlfriend.
Ann: A podcast for long-distance besties everywhere, especially in bed right now.
Aminatou: I'm Aminatou Sow.
Ann: I'm Ann Friedman.
[Theme Song]
(0:38)
Ann: On our agenda this week, menstruation. So much menstruation; a visit back to college to check in with the kids, hopefully not creepily; Solange got hitched; major, major grappling with the fact that white people are Columbising the booty; a shine theory in the wild sighting -- spotting; the squatty potty; checking in with lady boxers.
Aminatou: Oh my god Ann, I can't laugh. Everything hurts.
Ann: I'm sorry. Do you need to talk it out? Is this like when -- am I like the birthing partner here? You know how they always say cramps are like tiny contractions? Like just breathe. Chew some ice chips.
Aminatou: Okay, so I guess we're doing This Week in Menstruation first because I really want to talk about the out-of-this-world cramp pain that I'm experiencing this weekend. [Laughs] I'm laughing because if I don't laugh I'm going to cry. I mean you know me, I have an extremely high pain threshold.
Ann: The highest.
Aminatou: I think I can say this.
(1:45)
Ann: Like doctors have been worried about how high your pain threshold is.
Aminatou: Exactly. Doctors marvel at the pain I can withstand. The problem is this weekend I've basically gotten the period from hell. Like I woke up crying yesterday I was in so much pain. I've never cried before from cramps, you know? And I cry like three times a year so this is momentous for me.
Ann: Medically-induced crying.
Aminatou: I just feel like one of those crazy sci-fi movies where Sigourney Weaver like births an alien, like I'm convinced that that's the next thing that's going to happen. [Laughs]
Ann: I also appreciate that this podcast is a safe space for menstruation to be the headline, like sometimes it's the headline.
Aminatou: Oh my god. I mean I basically have to tell you because periodically I'm going to breathe very heavily and just moan and that's what's going on. I almost went to the ER yesterday because I was like is this normal? And then the Internet said I didn't need to which is probably why I'm going to die and I've taken more Ibuprofen than you're supposed to take and called every doctor I know. So I'm just going to like -- I'm going to suffer through it one more day, otherwise if you hear that I've given birth to an alien child this is what happened.
Ann: Or like the world's largest uterine fibroid or something.
Aminatou: I know! It is -- oh man, the body is disgusting.
Ann: Your body is beautiful. Don't say that.
Aminatou: I don't know, being a woman is really hard. You know what I mean? This is very disruptive. Like on Friday I didn't leave work early but I should've. I was in a lot of pain.
Ann: I mean you should've just left. They would let you, right?
Aminatou: I mean yes, they would've let me, but I just like . . . you know how when you're a crazy type-A person it takes a long time for your brain to catch up with what's happening? You know, it's like "Oh, I'm in pain but I have shit to do." So it wasn't until I got home and I was sitting on my couch trying to catch up on Jane the Virgin and I was like oh, things hurt everywhere.
Ann: Pain is not on my agenda. Oh my god, I just wrote a period ad. I wrote a tampon commercial.
(3:58)
Aminatou: Yeah, no, pain was not on my agenda for this weekend. This is garbage. Okay, so basically shout-out to all my sisters having uterus groans this weekend. I feel you.
Ann: Collective uterus groan. Just let it out. Let it out.
Aminatou: Ugh!
Ann: Ugh!
Aminatou: It hurts! [Laughter] This cannot be normal.
[Music]
Aminatou: Anyway, what else is going on with you? How was your weekend?
Ann: I went to -- for a reporting assignment went to Santa Barbara and attended many college parties with a bunch of 18-to-21 year olds.
Aminatou: Ooh, can I ask questions about this process?
Ann: Please.
Aminatou: How did you get connected with these 18 year olds? [Laughs] Like does your editor go "Here, I know a sorority girl at UCSB you can be friends with?" Or did you like stalk them on the Internet? What's the process?
Ann: God, if only. So basically the article is about California's new consent law for sexual assault cases so being a modern journalist I was like oh, obviously I need to talk to another journalist first and was like every college newspaper has a sex columnist by now, right? It's 2014. Everywhere has a sex columnist. Not true but UC Santa Barbara does have one.
Aminatou: Yeah, I was like that sounds -- I was like that sounds dubious.
(5:50)
Ann: But there are a lot. Like maybe not every campus but there are a lot. Anyway, so I Googled it and there is in fact a sex columnist at the campus paper at UCSB and he is fabulous and also is kind of -- was a good tour guide because . . .
Aminatou: Ooh, plot twist.
Ann: I know. Plot twist, he, right? Mm-hmm.
Aminatou: [Laughs] Sorry, my body was in pain so it took me 30 seconds to catch up with what you said.
Ann: Yeah, he -- he is a gay sex columnist who is also in a fraternity so he basically knows everyone, like all these little worlds, and was like . . .
Aminatou: Oh, also pause.
Ann: Yes?
Aminatou: Sorry, I have a million questions. Why did you go to Santa Barbara instead of one of the many L.A. schools?
Ann: So I talked to some people at UCLA but Santa Barbara has a reputation for being one of the nation's preeminent party schools and part of me was kind of curious to go to the heart of the stereotype and see if this is actually true. Anecdotally when I was talking to students at UCLA about maybe going to some parties with them, there's no way to report the story without sounding like a fucking creep. Like ugh, when I went to some parties to talk to kids about sex.
Aminatou: I mean most journalists are creeps.
Ann: I know. I mean there's a difference though, some of us acknowledge that we're creeps and some of them -- some of us think we're doing like fourth estate government watchdog stuff and I just acknowledge that there is creepy stuff about my job. [Laughter] But anyway I asked this UCLA student hey, if I could maybe come to some parties with you what night would work? And she was like maybe Saturday. I don't know. We have to study a lot. We're busy. And at UCSB they were like . . .
Aminatou: That's like the perfect college response.
Ann: I know! And I was like I feel you, that sounds great. I respect that. I will talk to someone else. And the students at UCSB were like "What night do you want to come? Wednesday? Thursday? Friday? Saturday?"
Aminatou: [Laughs]
Ann: Like we're free.
Aminatou: Oh my god, to go to school in California.
(7:54)
Ann: So without -- basically on a purely superficial level things that will never make it into the story because it's not long ago I will say this: that I forgot how dirty college apartments are. You would die Amina. You would die. I just -- you know, I remember being dead, dead broke in college but I'm sure -- I'm absolutely positive I was as dirty as these kids and I just forgot. You know, you just forget ten years later.
Aminatou: This was not a thing in Austin or at least not with my friends because you know I was OCD so I couldn't handle the gross grossness. I don't know.
Ann: Okay, psychedelic wall hangings still a thing.
Aminatou: [Laughs] Yes, or like French restaurant posters. Ugh.
Ann: Still a thing.
Aminatou: Did you see many Ama Lee (?) posters?
Ann: I did not. I think that was a problem.
Aminatou: That's where the posters go to die.
Ann: That was an early aughts college problem that has since been solved by the passage of time.
Aminatou: Oh my god, my first day at UT when I walked into my dorm room that had the reputation for being the smallest dorm room in college, they were like "It's very cozy. Everybody who's lived here is like generation-long friends" or whatever. I walk into the room and there's literally a fuzzy poster of Jesus with a Bible verse on it and that's how I knew it was going to be a nightmare.
Ann: Wait, velvet Jesus? Like fuzzy? Like you could touch it?
Aminatou: Velvet Jesus, and this woman, bless her heart, we were roommates for just one semester but I think that it was hard. It was just as hard for her to live with me as it was for me to live with her. We lasted a little bit.
(9:40)
Ann: I mean I think that that -- so these kids are past the stage of assigned housing, you know, gotta make do. They're living with their friends for sure. But because they live right on the beach in Santa Barbara their rent is a lot higher than say mine was in the middle of Missouri ten years ago for example. But I have to say, you know, all of this sounds like cranky old person but they in general had fantastic sexual politics. Like every time I talked to them they said totally reasonable, awesome, adult things. And obviously lots of statistics about millennials and younger say they are super diverse and they are super accepting of cultural difference and whatever else. And I don't know. I don't hang out with younger than millennials except for last night. And that seems largely true. I don't know, there was just a lot of . . .
Aminatou: You're like extrapolating real cultural statistics from going to a party at UCSB?
Ann: I'm telling you about one night. One night. I'm telling you one night confirmed.
Aminatou: [Laughs] I'm just saying you're the problem with data.
Ann: Oh my god, none of this is going into my story.
Aminatou: I went to this party. Everything is fine. Everybody lives in racial harmony and great sexual politics. It's like hmm.
Ann: I said nothing about harmony, racial harmony. I just said that it was not a bunch of white kids and not a bunch of straight kids and not a bunch of cisgender kids. Whatever. They were all just like -- there was a lot of different types of kids that I hung out with in one night without attempting to see lots of different types of kids.
Aminatou: That's fair. I'm just busting your balls because I think that campus culture is different depending on how you enter, you know?
Ann: Totally.
Aminatou: And maybe your night would've been different if you would've hung out with people in the Greek system or if you had . . .
Ann: Well I did hang out with people in the Greek system.
Aminatou: Oh, that's great. Sorry, breathing break. [Laughter] I can't. I'm going to die by the end of this episode.
Ann: Let out a groan. Just let it go. It's fine.
(11:50)
Aminatou: Oh my god, if you don't hear from me -- if I'm quiet more than 30 seconds please call 9-1-1.
Ann: I'm just saying I had a good time last night talking to lots of different kinds of kids about their sex lives and yes, that makes me a creepy journalist.
Aminatou: I'm very happy for you. I can't wait to read your article. Yeah.
Ann: I also did a shot of Ciroc Peach.
Aminatou: I can't talk to you right now but I'm sure it was delicious.
Ann: It was awful. Okay, what's happening now?
Aminatou: [Sighs] [Laughs] Still here. Hanging in.
Ann: Deep breaths?
Aminatou: I know. Yeah, you're basically like my breathing partner.
Ann: Let's talk about something positive like Solange.
Aminatou: Oh my god, Solange got married today and looked beautiful.
Ann: That photo, the wedding party photo was incredible.
Aminatou: I know. I was like if you're -- first of all the amount of confidence that it takes for a bride to be like "I want everybody to wear white," just ten out of ten.
Ann: Right. Like there's no way you can upstage me.
Aminatou: I know. She -- I mean there's no way you could upstage her. She wore a fucking jumpsuit with a cape. Like that is just, yeah, next level. She's won weddings.
Ann: All power items in one outfit.
Aminatou: No, she won the wedding game and also I want to read to you my favorite anecdote from the wedding. Hold on, I'm pulling my phone because many people have chatted me or texted me this today. "Blah, blah, blah, performances by friends and an adorable dance-off between Knowles and her ten-year-old son Daniel Julez to no-flex zone. It was truly a family affair." One, fucking love no-flex zone. Two, her son is ten. Where's the time gone? We're getting so old.
Ann: Also just raising them right. The fact that that can even happen with your ten-year-old, you're doing a good job.
(13:54)
Aminatou: I know, totally. Also, you know, it's like the power of transformation because I remember Solange's first wedding where she wore some weird strapless everybody wears this and she was like married to that guy who played football in the middle of nowhere, middle America. And it's like ugh, you can just always be your best person at any time in your life.
Ann: Apreesh.
Aminatou: Apreesh.
Ann: Apreesh. [Laughs]
Aminatou: Go Solange. Also yeah, no, all of the pictures are amazing. Vogue has the best spread. I highly recommend checking it out.
Ann: Also I feel like there is a lot of power in being the alt sister. [Laughs] Like, you know, no one is looking -- I mean you and I are obviously looking to Solange for dream wedding but it's not like Us Weekly is going to be giving her the full stupid fairy tale treatment. People who will appreciate her wedding will appreciate it and it doesn't have to have the cover story. I don't know, like the standard that a lot of weddings have to meet when you're a celebrity.
Aminatou: No, totally. Also Tina Knowles, mama Knowles, looks amazing.
Ann: Oh, I didn't see her.
Aminatou: She looked like -- oh, are you kidding me? It's like the best picture. She looks like this fabulous Disney villain in this amazing dress that she's wearing. So good.
[Music and Ads]
(18:25)
Ann: Oh my god, what next? There's a lot of booty news this week.
Aminatou: There's a lot of booty news. Ugh. I mean, you know, I think we called this very early on in the podcast, like the booty is back.
Ann: I mean all body parts are great. But . . .
Aminatou: I mean, yeah. I think basically what happened is the booty got Columbused this year. It's like white people discovered the booty.
Ann: Yes!
Aminatou: So we just have had to talk about it more.
Ann: Thank you.
Aminatou: But some of us come from cultures where butts have been a part of our lives for a long time.
Ann: Butts are a part of everybody's life, but you're right, the idea of the butt as an awesome thing is 100% a 2014 Columbising.
Aminatou: No, totally. I mean let's just go there because people want to know what are our thoughts on the Kim Kardashian booty cover?
Ann: My first though was honestly it seems -- and I don't know if this is a Photoshop issue or a lighting issue or a Vaseline issue.
Aminatou: [Laughs]
Ann: But it seemed like whatever it is would be really hard, like literally hard to sit on. Like it looked like a very hard object.
Aminatou: Ugh, you're just butt shaming us now.
Ann: Oh my god, I'm so not!
Aminatou: I'll show you a picture of Nicki Minaj's butt. It's like how does she sit on it? It's crazy.
Ann: I know, but I feel like that's somehow different because I have this assumption first of all about magazine covers which are different than album covers that she didn't have as much say in exactly how it looked which is probably wrong. You know, I totally admit to that. But when I see the Anaconda album cover I'm like oh, that looks exactly how Nicki wanted it to look which makes me like it more because it's how she wanted to look. But for some reason I don't apply that to . . .
(20:15)
Aminatou: You don't think that Kim has just as much power over her own image and how she would be -- that she would agree to be on the cover of a magazine that she didn't completely vet?
Ann: I mean who knows? Maybe Kim was like hey, let's recreate this earlier photograph that made a big impact and was a very booty-centric photograph that . . .
Aminatou: I mean so apparently that's actually what happened.
Ann: That she was a fan of that photo?
Aminatou: Yeah, she's a huge fan of that photographer and all of his -- like honestly that photographer is very problematic because he's just like ugh, black women, big rumps. Great. That's like three quarters of his work. And she's like "I really want to work with him and I like what he does." And what's what he does, he makes powerful lady booties.
Ann: Has anybody talked to Grace Jones about this?
Aminatou: [Laughs] No Ann, I have not talked to Grace Jones about this.
Ann: I mean anyone on the Internet in general.
Aminatou: If you know Grace Jones please email us. Let us know. [Laughs]
Ann: Oh my god, Grace Jones listening to the podcast, we could die tomorrow. We could die immediately and be happy.
Aminatou: I mean so listen, I have a few thoughts about this. One -- you know, one, I'm just going to be very transparent. I love Kim Kardashian and I think that people who just instinctively don't like her really annoy me because I'm just like you actually don't know what she's about, you know? Like my go-to line is "Do you watch the show?" I just feel like you can't not -- you can't say that you don't like her if you don't have a reference point. Like she's terrible to her siblings and I'm like but you have to give me specific examples about that shit. You can't just be like "I don't like her." The thing that is so crazy to me is how all these people who pretend that they're not into -- you know, like they're too good for the Kardashians or whatever, always have opinions about the things that Kardashians do. Like I thought that the picture was outrageous but I could not believe the amount of just conversation that it generated. It's always outsized and I was like well, this is exactly how Kris Jenner wins, right, is everybody has a fucking opinion.
I obviously think that Columbusing of butts is also very problematic. Who doesn't know the history of big black butts, right, in history and why they're such a fucking problem? And all of the racism that's come from that.
(22:45)
Ann: I mean the answer is a lot of people don't know that.
Aminatou: No, that's the thing. I was like I am very happy to have a conversation about butts in the context of, you know, the [0:22:55] but I don't -- I think that just heaping on your Kardashian hate on that, it's like eyeroll.com. I don't have time for this.
Ann: Has it been mostly hate though? Or has it been kind of like faux hand-over-mouth gasp, like offended, not really offended? I mean I find the whole conversation about how and what and whether it was Photoshopped to be incredibly boring. Like that part of it is like . . .
Aminatou: That was boring. I mean honestly it's like hi, it's 2014. If you look at a magazine cover and you don't know that every single part of it is Photoshopped then I can't help you.
Ann: Right.
Aminatou: I knew what the original picture was already. I get the tongue in cheekness. It just really annoys me that the conversation always centers around oh, these women are vapid or they're not . . . it's like yes, this is a target we pick. People just don't like the Kardashians.
Ann: What did you think about the BuzzFeed reverse Photoshopping? The faux reverse Photoshopping.
Aminatou: Oh, I have not -- I have not seen this. I'm going to look it up right now.
(24:00)
Ann: It was basically like an artist rendering of what she "should" look like or would look like if she hadn't been photographed and I was just like . . .
Aminatou: Is this the if Kim had a realistic waist line?
Ann: Yes.
Aminatou: Wait, I can't tell the difference. Oh, oh, okay. [Laughs] I'm like what? You know, I know, but here's the thing: there's just no way to win, right? It's like if you look at this picture and you don't believe that it's 100% Photoshopped ala Grace Jones cover then you're a fucking idiot. That's just a fact. But also, yeah, I just don't . . . sorry, I don't get the uber faux outrage about this.
Ann: So actually that's an interesting question, the like who wins? Because I feel like she wins because lots of people are talking about an otherwise not that notable magazine putting her on the cover. Like Kim wins.
Aminatou: Yeah, like she didn't get paid. Did you know she didn't get paid for this because she wanted to work with this photographer so much?
Ann: What?
Aminatou: Yeah, paper magazines can't fucking afford the Kim Kardashian fee. They just can't. That's just like a fact. So yeah, she did the work for free. You know, because she's like that guy's an artist. [Laughs] I personally fucking love the baby oil. I think it's hilarious. Like this picture made me laugh. There's some very historically problematic things about the context in which this picture should be taken but I think that this is really funny. Also there is a Kardashian episode a couple years ago where Kim's picture got taken and she wasn't happy about it and it was one of her first on-air meltdowns. And she said something to the effect of she was like "They said they wouldn't show my butt crack! I'm never posing naked again!" She just loses her shit and that was the first thing that I thought about when I saw this. I was like ugh, Kim may never learn anything.
(26:00)
Ann: Which is funny. Just like the wail, "They said they wouldn't show my butt crack."
Aminatou: I know. It's so . . .
Ann: Of all the body parts that I would be most mortified to show, I don't know. [Laughs]
Aminatou: It's so -- like it was pretty preposterous.
Ann: Ugh. How many years ago would that have been?
Aminatou: Like three or four years ago. It was really -- it's so good I'm like I need to read the actual quote. I think I tweeted this the other day. Oh no, I've turned into one of those assholes that goes "I think I tweeted this." [Laughs]
Ann: Wait until you start retweeting yourself from a few years ago.
Aminatou: No, this is what the quote was. "I was told they're not going to show my ass crack or my nipple. I'm never getting naked again." [Laughs]
Ann: Things we said pre-Kanye.
Aminatou: It's epic. Like Kim cry face, it's everything. But yes, this was great.
[Clip Starts]
Kim: Hello?
Female: I'm looking at the actual real hard copy, and there's nipple! But let me just say the pictures are gorgeous.
Kim: It was going to be covered on top of me and they weren't going to show my ass crack or my nipple. This is full porn! Mom, have you seen my cover? I feel so taken advantage of! They promised me I'd be fully covered. Did you see the inside? I just am never getting naked again. Whoever's running my *** is fired and I'm going to fire everyone.
[Clip Ends]
Ann: Also in butt news this week.
Aminatou: Oh my god, are you talking about Diplo and what a dick he is?
Ann: Ugh, I'm talking about how terrible Diplo is in trying to shame ladies without big booties.
Aminatou: Well, so you know the story, right, is Diplo is supposedly dating what's her face? Katy Perry. Nemesis of Taylor.
Ann: I did not know that.
Aminatou: Nemesis of Taylor Swift. And so he's . . . [Laughs] Oh, I hate that we're talking about Twitter again. I feel like such . . . like one of those people. God. Like have you read Twitter today?
(28:02)
Ann: Every day.
Aminatou: So anyway, so he tweets that thing about let's get Taylor Swift a butt and then there's some sort of -- let's get her a booty. And somebody started one of those donation websites which weirdly didn't get any money and I think this says everything about how the public feels about Taylor Swift. We love her. [Laughs]
Ann: Can't turn us against her.
Aminatou: No, you can't. Do you want to tell the other half of the story? Then what happened Ann?
Ann: I mean then Lorde leaping to her defense immediately. Is this what you're referring to?
Aminatou: Ugh. Yes, obviously. I love friends who defend friends. I think it's very, very, very important. It's definitely a lost art. And yeah, no, I love that. She's just like please take several seats. This is epically delightful to watch.
Ann: I mean also I just kind of love like a tiny penis joke which is what her reply was is just such a classic . . . it's a classic. You know, I should probably on some feminist level speak out against trying to shame men with tiny penis jokes and how that plays into traditional notions of masculinity, etc. But really I appreciated it.
Aminatou: I know. You know, I think that when deployed aptly it hurts everywhere that it's supposed to hurt.
Ann: The idea of deploying a tiny penis is now fixed in my mind. [Laughter]
Aminatou: It's so perfect. Taylor Swift also is carrying shine theory news this week. There was this great . . . [Laughs] Like she's on the cover of Time Magazine. It's beautiful. The article is great.
Ann: And the cover of Business Week.
Aminatou: Yeah no, trust. I saw. Dominating every avenue. But it's like Taylor Swift talks role-models. The second-highest paid woman in music told Time that actress Mariska Hargitay and chef Ina Garden are among her favorite female role-models. Me too Taylor. "I surround myself with smart, beautiful, passionate, driven, ambitious women. Other women who are killing it should motivate you, thrill you, challenge you, and inspire you." Tattoo that on your face. That's incredible.
(30:15)
Ann: I just got a full-body chill. It's perfect.
Aminatou: Ugh, shine theory forever.
Ann: Forever and ever. Also just like . . . I love that is -- I mean I love shine theory for women in their 20s and 30s and whatever but for someone with a major following among like 12-year-olds to say this it's so, so great. It's just so great.
Aminatou: Ah! Sorry, my whole setup is very precarious right now and I almost lost both computer and microphone. [Laughs]
Ann: I thought your uterus had taken a turn for the worst.
[Music]
Ann: What else? I feel like we only have ridiculous. What?
Aminatou: I know, we're talking about ridiculous things. Oh, one ridiculous thing that happened is somebody who listens to the podcast I think tweeted or emailed me about what are your thoughts on something called squatty potty? And at first I was like it is too early. I'm like what is squatty potty? But then as I was watching television as I'm want to do, my favorite show is Shark Tank, and lo and behold squatty potty is featured on Shark Tank so I know it's legit.
(31:52)
Ann: Okay, I'm on the website right now. It looks like a step stool for your toilet.
Aminatou: Yeah, no. Like another thing that white people have Columbused is squatty toilets.
Ann: [Laughs]
Aminatou: I'm like I come from Africa, this is not news to me, and I can't believe that somebody's going to become a millionaire from this.
Ann: This is like for people who are too lazy to really squat?
Aminatou: Well yeah, so here's the deal. The dude that makes it went on the show with his mom on Shark Tank, his mom Judy, and they talked about how the whole thing is because Judy was struggling with constipation and she realized that when she squatted it made her feel better. And her only option in her house was a step stool but that was not working, right? He started doing -- like what a great son? He started doing all this research on squatty potties and he has a friend who has a wood shop and he's like "Holler at me with a prototype." It's crazy. And then he says -- he's like "We want to change the way America poops." You know I cannot throw shade at that.
Ann: Okay, but truth, Oprah already changed the way America poops.
Aminatou: Yeah, but she did that with Dr. Oz who is a quack. This guy is like he wants to go inside your toilet and replace all modern toilets with squat toilets because ergonomics. That's crazy.
Ann: It is true. I'm surprised they haven't made the comparison like your office chair is ergonomic, why isn't your toilet?
Aminatou: No, totally. It's like, yeah, I just love that they're like it's a family business. Also they have other products. One is called Swoosh Bidet. [Laughs]
Ann: Oh my god.
Aminatou: Mostly you should go on Amazon and read the reviews for squatty potty. They're great.
Ann: Okay, I'm still looking at the website because I honestly can't look away and there is a woman with her jeans pulled up sitting on the potty. And I don't want to like . . . I don't know if I would really want to see the opposite but there's a part of me that's like hmm, this is wrong.
(33:55)
Aminatou: Have you ever used a squatty potty Ann? Like an actual real squat toilet? Not in America.
Ann: Yes I have pottied while squatting but I have not used this particular device.
Aminatou: No, I mean this is crazy. Also can we talk about whoever . . . I cannot believe this is a thing that I'm going to say because I like some people am very sensitive about it and I'm like oh, I don't know what you're talking about. But the model's feet that they use for this product on the website is disgusting. Like no. [Laughter] I cannot believe. I'm like who -- who is in charge of the photo content on your website? Fire them immediately.
Ann: Also I don't know where to begin. I just advise everyone to look at this website for themselves. I don't know.
Aminatou: I mean I might order one. This is incredible.
Ann: Will you report back or is that . . .
Aminatou: The reviews are so -- I mean I grew up using a squat toilet so it's not a thing that is completely crazy to me. I just think it is crazy to pay money to do it in your own house. [Laughs]
Ann: Right. Right. And of course they also sell like scent sprays so that you can't smell your "elimination."
Aminatou: [Laughs] That's like a huge market. Yeah, no.
Ann: Clearly.
Aminatou: Maybe we can get somebody to send us a Swoosh Bidet and we can review that instead because that looks fun.
Ann: Oh my god, the copy for Swoosh Bidet says "Swoosh Bidet has your backside."
Aminatou: I know, swoosh your tush. [Laughter] I feel like, you know, I wonder if our poop talk hurts or helps us. I'm going to say hurts.
Ann: I'm going to say helps. I feel like women who I imagine to be our primary audience, though obviously not 100%, love to talk about poop and good poops.
Aminatou: Okay, if you like to talk about poop drop us a note because I would be very curious to know. What else do we want to talk about today?
(36:00)
Ann: I kind of want to read this check back from our previous episode in which we discussed whether or not being on your period gives you superhuman powers or makes you less able to compete because the . . .
Aminatou: Oh yeah, for lady boxers. Yeah.
Ann: Exactly. So at our request we had a lady boxer write in and share her thoughts on this. Let's see, what did she say? "The story reminded me of what happened a few Olympics back when the IOC tried to force all women boxers to wear skirts in the ring." I do not remember this.
Aminatou: [Laughs]
Ann: "And the professional circuit followed suit. Some of the reasons were it was hard for the audience to tell if they were watching lady boxers or men boxers, no joke, and that women should really feminize the sport of boxing." Wow. "All I really have to say is that if you are a lady boxer you already have raging hormones, probably more on the testosterone side. While I did not fight in the ring except in sparring practice I have never noticed the difference between when I was bleeding from my vagina or from my nose." That is so bad-ass. "However Black Betty by Ram Jam totally gets me in a killing mood."
Aminatou: That is fantastic. Thank you lady boxer listener. What a winner.
Ann: We have the best listeners.
Aminatou: [Laughs]
[Music]
Aminatou: Thanks so much for listening to Call Your Girlfriend. You can find us many, many places online, namely on iTunes where you can leave us a review -- we would really appreciate that -- or on Twitter at callyrgf. That is callyrgf. And you can also find us on our website callyourgirlfriend.com. Thanks so much for listening.